Being the first ones to get married and becoming parents in our friend group, often leaves me awestruck seeing our other friends enjoy their romantic newly married lives. In the last couple of days, it happened by chance that I had many such encounters.
Every month I see one of friend’s facebook wall and whatsapp status flooded with pictures of their celebration of monthly wedding anniversaries. Being a busy parent to a hyperactive toddler, seeing that only thing I realise is – “Oh, another month has passed by”. Then there is news from another friend who celebrates their 1st wedding anniversary in Goa. She shares pictures of their perfect candle light dinner date by the beach.
Whenever I consciously think about all this, I wonder what parenthood has done to us as a couple. How busy it has made us. Today, my husband and I cannot talk for more than 15minutes to each other without the mention of our son. While our other friends are setting Couple Goals, we feel thrilled at the idea of leaving our son with his grandparents and sneaking out for 30minutes. I concluded, that being parents have made us so unromantic.
Then I even ask myself, “Am I not happy with my marriage?” The answer definitely being, I am. I feel so carefree and relieved thinking about my future with my husband by my side. It is then I realised that I just need to reframe the definition of romance which I had in my mind.
I can feel the romance when my husband takes up equal and sometimes complete responsibility of our son.
I can sense it when he extends his lunch break and play with our son just to give me few more hours of my “me” time.
I can experience it when he stays back home to take care of our son, to make my leisure salon visits possible, when he doesn’t have time for his own.
I am awed by it, when he treats my parents just as his.
I incident it, when he manages to notice the smallest change in my outlook and genuinely compliments it.
I believe in it, when he respects me and my decisions, even though they are not always right, privately, publically and the most important in front of our son.
I fall for it, when he gives more than his best to make my birthday special, even when is overburdened with work.
And then I realised, that romance is not only facebooks posts and perfect dates, but even these small day to day endeavours which gives you a feeling of satisfaction of a secured and happy future. Thank you, dear hubby, for giving me the perfect marital life. I love you.